It's Not Safe To Swim Today
by Nevermore13
Summary: Tale following an 11 year old Sirius through his life at home and Hogwarts. /Rated M, just in case.
1. The Letter

I slowly ran my finger across the window making shapes and swirls out of the fog that had accumulated overnight. Then I watched as they disappeared, leaving only a faint outline of what had been. I returned my gaze back outside; watching the muggles walk by, completely oblivious of the house I was sitting in.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place or as I liked to call it 'Grim Old Place', housed the Black family; and after quite a few visits from muggles who had mixed up building numbers, lost keys, etc., my mother decided to put up charms and enchants. Those of which hid the place completely from anyone who was not a witch or wizard. It took quite a while for the muggles to get to used to it of course. It's rather hard to cover up the disappearance of an entire building, but we managed, and before long they accepted the fact that the building numbers went from 11 straight to 13.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting my thoughts for a moment.

"Sirius!"

"What?" I yelled.

My mother walked in looking her usual strict self. Her dark blond hair was tied in a tight bun atop her head with strands that hung down her pale, square face. Her green eyes pierced me as though she were looking at something she couldn't stand.

"What? You don't say 'what' to your mother." she shrieked.

"Huh?" I said trying not to laugh as her face contorted with anger.

"Listen, boy. I don't know what's gotten into you but as long as your under this roof, you'll respect both me and your father. Understood?"

"Yes." I said dully.

"Have you got your owl yet?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Not yet." I said.

Her face grew red and her eyes narrowed. "You better hope you do. I will not have it known that I gave birth to a squib!" she yelled, looking at me with utter dislike.

"I don't think there's a set date when they send them out, mother."

"You best hope so." And with that she turned on her heel and walked out, making sure to slam the door behind her.

I fell back onto my bed with even more things on my mind then before she came in. What if I was a Squib? What if I had absolutely no magical abilities. I'm pretty sure I'd be the first in the entire family, unless there were others that were disowned because of it. I don't recall doing any magic. I suppose there were instances when something happened, but I had never paid attention; never given it much thought.

My thought process stopped once again as my door opened; this time the visitor being my brother-Regulus, and I sat up as I was faced with what everyone called a miniature version of myself.

"What do you want, Reg?" I asked unable to hide the annoyance in my voice.

"Mum said you still haven't got your letter."

"Yea, so?"

"She says you'll be the first one in the whole family to not get one" he said quietly.

"What if I am. Think she'd love a reason to burn me off the tree." I said with distaste.

"Are you really a scribe?" he asked curiously.

"The fuck did you say." I retorted.

"A scribe, mum said you are probably a scribe."

"It's a squib, dumbass. Now get out if you insist on repeating every single thing she says." I said, waving my hand to shoo him away.

He turned and and left, shutting the door behind him.

As I was about to return to my bed, I heard a tapping at my window. I walked closer unable to tell what it was. Sure enough- a large barn owl was clawing at the window; letter in beak. I quickly opened the window; letting the creature in. He hooted softly and held his leg out, exposing the yellow envelope. I grabbed at it, and took a moment looking over the front.

"Took you long enough, you stupid bird. Can you not see this place either?" I mumbled.

The owl hooted angrily before spreading it's wings and taking off back outside. I shut the window behind it, and began to open my letter.

Dear Mr. Black,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary supplies and equipment.

Term begins September 1st. We await your owl by no later than July 31st.

yours sincerely,

_Minerva McGonagall_

Deputy Headmistress 

I sighed with relief. I'll finally be leaving this place. It won't be permanent, but it's good enough. I held onto the letter as I headed downstairs, eager to put my mother's squib thoughts to rest.


	2. Diagon Alley

I started towards the kitchen still clutching the letter. Inside, I saw my mum at the table reading the newspaper. She glanced up for a moment before returning to the paper.

"I got my letter."

"Did you now?" she said, not taking her eyes off the Daily Prophet.

"Yea, I did. So you're happy now? I'm not a squib." I said watching her.

"Trying to make mummy proud are we?" she jeered; her lips curling into a sneer. "You'll need to do a lot more than get into Hogwarts, I'm afraid" she spat. "Now send off Verus or I'll be stuck with you the entire term."

I stood there for a moment; absorbing her words like a sponge. I was almost sure she'd be a bit nicer after I got my letter. I brushed those thoughts aside as I wandered over to the closest drawer and started digging around for some parchment, ink and a quill. I set them on the kitchen table as my mum let out a long, drawn out sigh. Ignoring her, I dipped my quill in the ink and hovered it above the parchment.

"What exactly do I write?" I asked after a few minutes.

"What do you mean what do you write?" she said behind the paper.

"It says they await my owl, what exactly do I ha..."

"Sirius! For crying out loud!" she interrupted.

"I just asked a question!" I yelled, standing to my feet.

"Just let me do it, you foolish boy!" she snarled, snatching up the parchment and quill.

I watched as she scribbled quickly and read it after she finished.

_Yes, my bastard of a son will be attending Hogwarts._

_Walburga Black_

She strolled over to Verus, tied the letter to his leg, then returned again to her paper.

"Wow, thanks mum." I said sarcastically.

"Just get out of my sight, Sirius." she said.

I returned to my room and flopped onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling, studying the cracks,crevices, and bumps. I wondered if all families were this...dysfuntional? If everyone's mum was a bitch. If everyone's dad was constantly absent. Or if it was just mine. Of course, I had no one to compare to. I'd only been out of the house on a few ocassions and only for short periods of time. I didn't know anyone, really. My mum, brother, and dad were the only family members that I had seen. As for strangers, I never talked to or met anyone else. I could honestly say I had no friends. I guess it sounds depressing, but I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess I don't mind people, or I guess I wouldn't mind them, as long as they weren't like my family here. Maybe, I just liked being alone. Or maybe I've just been alone so much that it doesn't bother me as much as it would someone who grew up constantly around people.

I glanced at my wall where my calender was hanging up. I still had an entire month before I'd leave this place. I sighed as I turned onto my side and drifted off to sleep.

The month couldn't have possibly gone by any slower. It felt as if each day were a week, as if the month as a whole was actually a year. But the day before term did in fact roll around and I was in complete bliss.

I ran downstairs, yanking my shoes on a long the way and trying to zip my pants. I wandered into the kitchen where my mum was silently reading her gossip magazines.

"I need to go to Diagon Alley today." I said.

"Yea, I know, I know. Money's on the counter." she said pointing behind me, " And you're staying at the Leaky Cauldron tonight also. I don't need you wasting all my floo powder because you want to go back and forth all day"

I walked over to the counter and started loading my pockets. I turned and gave my mum one last look before shuffling out of the kitchen. I headed to my room and started throwing my clothes and anything else I could find into a trunk. Surveying my room to make sure I had everything, I dragged the trunk into the fire place and dropped it with a thud.

"Be quiet!"

"For fucks sake, shut up woman. I'm leaving." I muttered under my breath as I reached into a pot sitting on the mantle and grabbed a considerable amount of floo powder. I stood in the fire place and using my other hand, I grabbed onto my trunk before throwing the floo powder down.

"Diagon Alley!" I yelled.

I tucked my elbows in as close as I could while using every bit of strength I had to hold onto my trunk. The last thing I needed was for it to fly out and wind up in someone else's fire place. The spinning started to pick up and I began to feel dizzy as everything I saw became but a blur of color rushing past. After what seemed like minutes, I felt myself slowing down a bit; and finally coming to a stop.

I was in the Leaky Cauldron. I stepped out of the fire place and looked around for the inn keeper. As I was looking around, a short, hunch-backed man limped up to me with a large toothy grin.

"May I help ya sir?" he asked still grinning.

"Uh, yea. I um, wanted to book a room tonight." I said

"Name, if ya please?"

"Sirius Black." I answered.

"Ah. Already have a room. Was booked for ya earlier today by a..." he paused and waved his wand, making a rather long list of parchment appear in front of him. He glanced over it for a moment before opening his mouth. "Yess here we are. Ms. Walburga Black, yes?" He asked looking up at me.

"Yea, that's right."

"Alright, let me show ya your room, Mr. Black." he said, motioning for me to follow him.

He led me up stairs to room 15 and opened the door.

"Let me know if there's anything you want, Mr. Black." he said with a small bow before leaving.

I walked in and swept my eyes over the place. I had only been here for maybe a couple seconds and already it seemed more like home than Grimmauld Place. I set my trunk down beside my bed and wandered back downstairs and out of the Leaky Cauldron.

I had been to Diagon Alley once or twice so I knew generally, where everything was located. It was still quite a place to see. All the shops looked so inviting; waiting to be explored, so I decided not to keep them waiting as I headed down to Ollivanders.

I went inside and was greeted by complete darkness. It was a huge contrast to the sunny outside and my eyes took a moment to adjust. I walked up to the counter and stared around. There were thin, long boxes...thousands, maybe millions of them, everywhere. They were stacked one on top of another almost touching the ceiling. There were also boxes strewn on the floor and some that looked like they were dangling off the ceiling; as if they were just growing out of everything.

"May I help you, sir?"

My eyes darted back to the counter where a tall, white haired man was standing.

"Yes, I need a wand." I said.

Really Sirius? You need a wand, huh? I bet he never could've guessed that, being in a wand shop and all. Idiot. I thought to myself. That's probably what my mum would've said too, if she had come.

He didn't say anything, just smiled. "Well come on then. We need your measurements, don't we?" he said.

A tape measurer then appeared next to me. It began measuring me from head to toe, followed by my arms, my fingers, my head, and my shoulder width. It wandered down to my crotch and began to measure.

"Hey!" I snarled, putting my hand in front of my privates and trying to hit it with the other. I swore I heard the tape measurer giggle before throwing itself back onto the counter.

I was about to say something to Ollivander but he had disappeared from behind the counter. I waited for a few minutes before he came back with at least a dozen boxes in his arms. He opened the first one and handed it to me. I took it from him and held it for a second.

"Holly, 11 inches, unicorn hair." He said rather quickly. He watched me eagerly. "Well go on, son. Give it a wave!" he exclaimed.

I gave it a small flick that caused a stack of boxes behind the counter to topple over. Mr. Ollivander shook his head and rummaged into his stack; pulling out another wand.

"Willow, 9 inches, unicorn hair, quite...swishy!" he said; holding it out for me.

I took it from him and waved it, this time sending sparks right towards his head.

"Nope. Not that one!"

We went through about five more and I was beginning to feel a bit hopeless. I wasn't used to having to take so many tries at something, but I tried not to let it bother me. He pulled out another one that was at the bottom of the stack.

"Ah, here we are, ebony, dragon heart string, 12 1/2 inches, unyielding. Great for transfiguration."

I took the wand again and waved it preparing to make more boxes fall or, knowing my luck, shoot a curse at the old man. Instead I felt a rush of warmth through my finger tips.

"Yes. You see, the wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Black." he said with a smile.

"How exactly?" I asked curiously.

"I'm glad you asked, most people don't, believe it's random. Rubbish." he paused."The wand knows all about their witch or wizard, Mr. Black. I could tell you quite a few things about yourself just from the wand you have."

"Like what? Try me." I challenged with a grin.

"Very well. You are rather stubborn. You shun outsiders. Secretive. A leader. Intelligent. Trouble-maker. Holds grudges. Opinionated. Unable to trust others. Strong-willed and witty." He finished, his eyes twinkling.

"I don't think all of that's true. But you're right with the intelligent part. I'll give you that." I said as I reached into my pocket to pay him.

He laughed."It's all true, sir. Your wand tells all; don't forget that." he said.

I thanked him and left the store feeling as if I had just has my fortune told, or had someone read my astrology sign. I thought about some of the stuff he said as I made my way to Flourish and Blotts. Some of the things he said, made me feel good. Like, being intelligent, trouble-maker, and witty. But the secretive,unable to trust others and shuns outsiders part was where I got stuck. It was odd of him to mention those since just last month I had been thinking about how often I've been alone. Did those describe me? I don't believe I'm secretive, I just have no one to talk to. Well, I have three people I can talk to, just no one that will listen, I reminded myself. I guess I didn't trust anyone else, but then again, I hardly trusted myself.

My thoughts came to an end as I stood outside Flourish and Blotts.


	3. Whispers In The Dark

I went into Flourish and Blotts and was faced with a sight similar to Ollivanders, except the piles of boxes were now piles of books. This place was also rather crowded compared to the dinky wand shop.

I looked around trying to spot an employee- I wasn't going to try to find my schoolbooks on my own. Then, as if I had sent some sort of sign to him, a tall, lanky man walked over to me, looking quite flustered.

"Hogwarts, yes? Hand me your list."

I pulled the folded up paper out of my pocket and held it out for him. He snatched it from me and began rushing around the store, climbing ladders, and taking books off shelves.

My eyes wandered around and swept the shelves and displays. A particular book caught my eye and I walked over to it- quickly picking it up and flipping through it. It was written in a different language, but I was more interested in the pictures than the words themselves. I continued flipping through ; seeing images of people with missing eyes, finger nails, ears; people with their heads split in half and even ones who looked possessed by a demon or monster.

"I do not think you will be needing that in your first year."

I turned quickly and was face to face with the employee who was giving me a dirty look whilst juggling a stack of books.

"Oh, yeah. I was just looking." I said quickly, placing the book back on the shelf while keeping my eyes on the employee.

There was a small beeping noise that steadily got louder and louder. The employee was in the middle of handing over my books when he heard the noise and paused. I tried to ignore it, but it reached a point where it was almost deafening. The employee let out a loud screech, dropping my books to the floor as he did so, and proceeded to duck under the nearest display of Divination books. Before I could even turn to see what was wrong, there was an earsplitting blast that sounded like a miniature explosion. The bookcase I was standing in front of was engulfed in a cloud of gray smoke and what looked like small fires, which began to nip and lick at the covers and bindings of the books. There was a heart stopping moment of silence as I stood there watching ripped and torn pages falling to the floor, and ash rising to the ceiling.

"You idiot boy! Did you touch the Big Book of Bombs?" the employee bellowed.

I turned around to face him as he crawled out from under the Divination display, wiping his robes off.

"No! I just put the other book back!" I protested.

His lip curled and his face began to contort with rage. "LIAR! YOU ARE A LIAR! A LYING LITTLE TROUBLE MAKER IF I HAVE EVER SEEN ONE!" he screamed, pointing a fat, stubby finger into my chest.

I pushed his hand away, as I could feel the heat rising in my face."I didn't! Besides you're the one who put a fucking exploding book out here! And you call _me_ an idiot?" I barked.

He looked for a moment as though he, himself would explode just as the book had, leaving the entire store a pile of rubble. His eyes began to bulge, his face turned a disturbing dark shade of red, and several veins popped out of his neck and head as he began to shake. He glared around the store, noticing all eyes were on the two of us, and decided against making any more of a scene.

He swallowed slowly. "Books. Take... yours... and...get...OUT." he said slowly, pausing between each word.

I bent down and scooped the stack of books he had dropped into my arms, tossed some money at his feet and made my way out of the store.

By the time I had gotten my robes, cauldron, items for potions, and a fair amount of things from Zonko's that I felt may come in handy at Hogwarts, it was dark outside. I carried everything into the Leaky Cauldron and figured they were closing, because the place was almost empty except for the inn keeper and a woman who was digging through her purse. I continued up the steps and into my room, thankful that there were no more mishaps inside the other shops after the Flourish and Blotts disaster.

I dumped everything I had bought into my trunk, not bothering to move anything or straighten it up. I figured there was no point since it was just going to be messy a few days into term anyway, why go through the trouble?

I retreated to my bed, throwing the covers back and settling down on my back. I stared at the ceiling- which was starting to seem like a favourite pastime of mine. I was greeted with more cracks and bumps as on the roof of my old room but somehow here it didn't seem quite as gloomy.

At home I couldn't wait to get to sleep. Sleeping was always the only thing I looked forward to during the day; it was my escape from the place that I hated most. But, for the first time in my life, I couldn't go to sleep. Not only was I unable to- I really didn't want to. For the first time, I was happy being awake. My eyes danced lazily across the room, observing every inch I could from my spot on the bed. I would glance over at the clock every once in awhile and watch as the time ticked from 10 to 11 and before I knew it, it was 1 am. My thoughts and consciousness began to fade, and I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up startled, after what had only seemed to be a moment of having my eyes closed. A look at the clock told me I was right. I had barely been asleep for ten minutes. I paused for a moment trying to figure out what woke me. I didn't recall having a bad dream, though I was pretty sure I heard something. Was I dreaming? I stilled my breathing as I sat there listening, trying to catch any noise I could. I laid back, resting my head on my pillow as I felt my eyelids getting heavy, when I heard voices which sounded like they were coming from the hallway. I sat up quickly and made my way to the door, opening it slowly. I craned my neck outside to see who was there, but after a glance up and down the hallway, I decided they must have left. I pushed the door slightly to close it when I hand from inside the hallway pushed on the top part, and began prying the door open. I backed up a bit and two hooded figures walked in. One a tall man, in black robes, the other one, much shorter and sporting a bright green pair of robes.

"Ah. Mr Black." whispered the tallest one, reaching out towards me.

I took a step back, moving out of arms length of the wizard.

"Ohhh! He's _scared_!" the shorter man jeered.

The tallest one walked slowly towards me and as soon as I had moved past my bed, he lunged forward slamming me into the wall and knocking the wind out of me. I coughed and slid down the wall, readying myself to crawl around so I could get to my feet. The tallest one sensed my plan and lifted me to my feet before slamming me back into the wall and grabbing my throat with both hands. I gasped, grabbing at his hand, trying to pry it away.

He chuckled to himself quietly as he watched me struggle. "What is it? We'll be brothers soon enough." he whispered as he nodded his head towards the green robed wizard who in turn proceeded to roll one of his sleeves up, showing a tattoo- the dark mark. _They were death eaters._

I gritted my teeth. "We'll never be brothers." I snarled, glaring at them.

They both broke into a chorus of laughter. The shorter one approached me.

"You say that now, but you'll change your mind. They _always_ do. Afterall, House of Black has turned out a nice lot of supporters, if I do say so myself."

"You're a liar!" I bellowed. "There were very, very few of them that joined up with your filthy lot!"

The green robed death eater stepped forward even closer and spoke in a voice that barely came out in a whisper. " What did you call me?"

I swallowed as the taller one tightened his grip on my throat, making it almost impossible to breathe.

"A liar...I called you...a..liar!" I yelled in between gasps.

I looked at him, waiting for him to make a move, but he didn't. Then out of nowhere he laughed and swung his hand across my face, breaking the silence with a loud '_crack'_. I clenched my teeth as my face began to sting as soon as his gloved hand left my skin. I could feel a burning sensation, and I shut my eyes tightly.

The tallest death eater sighed. "We'd better get back or we'll both be in trouble."

"Alright. What do we do with him? Kill him! Can we!" he asked excitedly.

"No. That was not what we were supposed to do. We need him alive later." The black robed death eater said as he slowly began loosening the grip on my throat.

I opened my eyes again, and welcomed the air that was once again going freely into my lungs.

The shorter wizard whined. "No fun at all."

He turned to leave but changed his mind and gave me a quick kick in the stomach, sending me to the floor. My hands dashed automatically to the spot, and I felt myself slipping out of consciousness until finally, all I saw was darkness.


End file.
